Today feels like Belgium but I'm in PA. The weather is cool and the sky is a blanket of gray clouds. This is my favorite weather to train in. The air temp is constant, no sun in my eyes, dehydration is less of a risk, the leaves on the trees are turning colors, and the bike paths are near empty. It is the time of year that few us continue to do what we enjoy outside. Especially as the weather gets colder, the leaves have left there living places on their respectable branches, and you begin to see your breath on the climbs. This is my favorite time of year for cycling. Why? Because I know what I do now, on lonely roads, alone, and with it I always see my character before me. It pedals slightly faster than I do but I don't push to overcome it. I pursue and keep my ideals in focus. A steady presence in an otherwise unsteady world.
I'm starting to wonder where exactly I fit in life. I thought I had some more clearly defined goals but suddenly on home turf I'm lost for ambition. I've been job hunting in various parts of the world. Applications are pending in Brussels, Amsterdam, Boston, Williamsport, and who know where else. Blogging has become less of a desire to stay in touch and is more of a ritual of self exploration. I'm always curious to see what words I decide to use to when my fingers go to work. Almost as if they decide what is written and my brain is there just to read the words. Since my return I've learned of friends being promoted, getting married, buying houses, starting families, and with all this I become more lost. A look in the mirror shows a man with untapped potential but where to start. My resume (CV) shows a lack of commitment and goals. A jack of all trades, master of none. Where is the specialization in a field that is so enabling for career choices?
I'm going for a walk with my sister. Sounds like goal avoidance to me! I also have an end of year feestje for the local cycling club that I raced with a few seasons ago tomorrow. Looking forward to catching up with some old friends there. And I almost crashed twice yesterday on my road ride. The first time I wen too hard into a corner and slide out but managed to keep it up right and the second time I was pedaling through a turn, caught my inside pedal and when the rear wheel landed the tube exploded!
time for that walk...
I'm starting to wonder where exactly I fit in life. I thought I had some more clearly defined goals but suddenly on home turf I'm lost for ambition. I've been job hunting in various parts of the world. Applications are pending in Brussels, Amsterdam, Boston, Williamsport, and who know where else. Blogging has become less of a desire to stay in touch and is more of a ritual of self exploration. I'm always curious to see what words I decide to use to when my fingers go to work. Almost as if they decide what is written and my brain is there just to read the words. Since my return I've learned of friends being promoted, getting married, buying houses, starting families, and with all this I become more lost. A look in the mirror shows a man with untapped potential but where to start. My resume (CV) shows a lack of commitment and goals. A jack of all trades, master of none. Where is the specialization in a field that is so enabling for career choices?
I'm going for a walk with my sister. Sounds like goal avoidance to me! I also have an end of year feestje for the local cycling club that I raced with a few seasons ago tomorrow. Looking forward to catching up with some old friends there. And I almost crashed twice yesterday on my road ride. The first time I wen too hard into a corner and slide out but managed to keep it up right and the second time I was pedaling through a turn, caught my inside pedal and when the rear wheel landed the tube exploded!
time for that walk...
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