I guess I would consider myself a little mentally broken. It was such a experience to live abroad that I find myself now utterly torn between two cultures. The one I know and the one I want to know more. I'm trying to embrace a positive perspective knowing that I've always envied people who have lived abroad and experienced various cultures. I admire them for their ability to relate and understand the world from a different point of view. I admire them for their knowledge of the various places they have traveled and the little things about life that you don't learn until you have found yourself standing somewhere foreign. I should now feel like one of those people and thus I should find myself staring back from the mirror with a new set of eyes. Eyes that have seen more of the world we live in. I went out last night with my sisters and we had a great time. I needed a night of laughing of being a little silly. Today marks fives days since I've returned. It feels much further away than that though. It has been awhile since I've lived at home. With my absence I have missed a lot of little things and I've realized it will require some effort to get back in touch with what is going on here. Three years in Boston and three months in Belgium and a bit more here and there. I guess maybe what I'm trying to get at is I'm a bit broken, a bit torn down from always being away from what I've known that I think I've forgotten the things that inspired me to attack life and make the most of it. The dreams I had when I left, almost four years ago, are gone. Well perhaps not gone, but certainly molded by the way in which I've chosen to live. I'm at point to where I am free to choose as I like, after a little time to rebuild of course. Mentally I need to get some clear goals defined. Then I need to get a new bike because just like me my bike frame is in need a some repair. The attached picture is of a crack I found this morning while cleaning. There is also another crack on the bottom of the chainstay as well. Time to check out the warranty info and hopefully resolve this soon. I had a race planned in about two weeks!
I guess I would consider myself a little mentally broken. It was such a experience to live abroad that I find myself now utterly torn between two cultures. The one I know and the one I want to know more. I'm trying to embrace a positive perspective knowing that I've always envied people who have lived abroad and experienced various cultures. I admire them for their ability to relate and understand the world from a different point of view. I admire them for their knowledge of the various places they have traveled and the little things about life that you don't learn until you have found yourself standing somewhere foreign. I should now feel like one of those people and thus I should find myself staring back from the mirror with a new set of eyes. Eyes that have seen more of the world we live in. I went out last night with my sisters and we had a great time. I needed a night of laughing of being a little silly. Today marks fives days since I've returned. It feels much further away than that though. It has been awhile since I've lived at home. With my absence I have missed a lot of little things and I've realized it will require some effort to get back in touch with what is going on here. Three years in Boston and three months in Belgium and a bit more here and there. I guess maybe what I'm trying to get at is I'm a bit broken, a bit torn down from always being away from what I've known that I think I've forgotten the things that inspired me to attack life and make the most of it. The dreams I had when I left, almost four years ago, are gone. Well perhaps not gone, but certainly molded by the way in which I've chosen to live. I'm at point to where I am free to choose as I like, after a little time to rebuild of course. Mentally I need to get some clear goals defined. Then I need to get a new bike because just like me my bike frame is in need a some repair. The attached picture is of a crack I found this morning while cleaning. There is also another crack on the bottom of the chainstay as well. Time to check out the warranty info and hopefully resolve this soon. I had a race planned in about two weeks!
Welcome back to the US Brandon. It's been a pleasure following your blog from Europe. I can relate to your complex and contradictory feelings about where you are and where you fit in. This may not help but you're not alone, many many people wonder the same thing, but know that by making decisions and feeling if they're right or not, is one way to learn more about yourself. If you do come back to Boston, know that we've still got some very pretty water here, and there's still a couple of months of rowing left...Ed
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